Feminism & Patriarchy: Where you learn things you really should already know

I have been brought up in a family where economic independence is not only encouraged but also expected of women; my social circles as well as that of my parents promote this, and therefore have many girls who have realized their (usually intimidatingly high) ambitions.

However, I also know people who feel that women need to study and then get married to a wealthy man, proceeding to live off and depend on him for the rest of their lives. Frequently, it is the women themselves who do not bother with ambitions because they are quite content with the idea of relying on their husbands- because in accordance with them, men don not look for ambitious women. Why would they? Obviously, all men want are well-educated, good looking ladies, who are content with raising the children, running a household and spending their husbands’ money.

While the caveman theory supports this as entirely rational, it has been a few millennia since that kind of thought process was acceptable. People living in the twenty first century may need to broaden their minds.

The attitude mentioned above promotes patriarchy and anti-feminism. Patriarchy is a term used in feminist discourse to describe the society we currently live in, characterized by contemporary and historical unequal power relations between men and women. Using the word ‘patriarchy’ refers to a system where women are disadvantaged, repressed and denied rights that men are freely given. This meaning of patriarchy, while present almost everywhere in the world, basically represents Indian society. If you do not think women are mistreated in India, you might just live under a rock- or you have mastered the art of convincing yourself “hey wow we’re so evolved, things are becoming so much better for women”. They are improving, marginally, for a small percentage of the 614.4 million women currently living in our country. Clearly we deserve a round of applause.

To counter patriarchy and the oppression of women that invariably goes along with it, we have feminism. A feminist refers to a person who believes people should have equal standing in society regardless of their gender. In the words of Gloria Steinem, “A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.” It is used to advance the cause of women’s equality and end sexism, and is essentially about breaking down arbitrary barriers between genders. Now all of this sounds pretty good, right? Equality for all, everyone is treated the same, people are happy.

Or not. Because in India, being a feminist has hugely negative connotations- mainly due to the widespread ignorance about the reality of being one. For example, my mother is a feminist, in the manner in which she behaves and what she believes. But she would deny it if you asked, because we have managed to attach a stigma to an ideology that should be ingrained in all of us.

The word feminism has managed to be twisted into reflecting what American media mogul Pat Robertson once said- “The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, become lesbians.” In all honesty, I find the number of words he can use without understanding their meaning quite impressive. My support for “equal pay for equal work” must come from a repressed urge to murder any offspring I have.

In case it was not completely clear by now- Feminism does not hate men. Women who hate men are called misandrists, and that is what people may commonly call ‘radical feminism.’ Now as a (passably) reasonable and intelligent person, I tend not to hold drastic views. And thus I find man-hating to be entirely as stupid as misogyny.

I’ve seen many people referring to feminists in abusive terms- one of the few I can list here without risking censorship is ‘feminazi’. Many men are feminists as well, because being a feminist isn’t restricted to women, you see- it’s an idea and an attitude, not a gender restrictive term, and in the end actually benefits everyone. Maybe you should think about that before making another Facebook post about how “butthurt” all us silly feminists are.

I would just like to stress on one point- Being a feminist does not mean you think men are evil and that women want a superior position to them; if you believe in gender equity, you are a feminist.

© Swati Kankan

(English Hons, 2nd Year)

Tripping

 

“Are you afraid?”

 

Her question had tainted the air around them with a moral hue even before the final syllable was uttered.

 

He was sitting on a chair in their bathroom, the daylight from the window imparted a shade of gold to his auburn hair. The joint in his hand was an extension of his slender fingers. Never had she seen anyone hold a cylindrical object with so much ease.

 

He took a deep drag, and let go, allowing the spiral of smoke to gush out of his mouth in a waterfall before he quickly sucked it back in. She watched him in awe. He was the wise, the older, the respected and the all-knowing.

 

“Only of the G-man,” he finally answered.

 

“Who?”

 

“The G-man!” He laughed. “He knows. Everything.” Noting her incomprehension, he flicked one finger upwards, at the ceiling.

 

He handed the joint to her. She fumbled, afraid to crush it into two. That never happened though, the product of his expert rolling held true to the final bit. Afterwards, she couldn’t ever remember what they had talked about. Only the nostalgia of having sat through profound epiphanies lingered in her consciousness.

 

Soon her limbs grew heavy. She had chosen the lidded toilet as a seat- despite his insistence that she have the solitary chair. She now saw his point, since she could have really done with an armrest right then.

 

She played with the hem of her skirt as they debated, something about how dogs couldn’t sprint faster than humans; if they did, people would get rabies more often. They concluded with the statement that dogs were bastards because they weren’t bitches.

 

He always laughed with her. He was the only one who did. She was never scared of opening her mouth to spout her strangest thoughts when she was in his company. He never, ever found her a freak, unlike the rest.

 

He looked at her. A question was posed. “Aren’t you scared?”

 

“Of what?” She asked back, eager to counter with something bombastically insightful. At last, a chance to impress him with her own depth of thought! He would finally know her astute ponderings!

 

“Tripping over your skirt when you walk?”

 

© Zoya Chadha 

English Hons (2nd Year)

Helm of Cards

We keep on shuffling the cards.

And reassurance becomes the only form of truth.

Do we need to go?

Do we need to find it?

That one lagoon for salty minds.

 

Is it a seizure taking my heart now?

No, wait, it feels like rain.

I am crying, I am wailing.

Oh they said it is such a clichéd game

And yet I know in my bleak heart

if something resurfaces, it must be reassurance

based on unreal things,

unreal things.

 

Native tunes of a bastard heart

Cribbing about last Saturday,

Of the chances left unrequited

and tons of ‘what ifs?’-

“what if?”

 

And I keep on repeating the same names

calculating some blemished yesterdays

The corruptness of some magnificent memories

And a song sung down the road:

Down the ringing roads.

 

© Priyanka Kapoor

(Eng Hons, 2^nd Year)